A local personal account of living and coping with mental illness

There are many people in the community living with mental ill ness, but their stories often go untold. In the coming weeks, some of those personal histories will be shared in the Main Street Journal. The following account is the first in a series of stories about local people living with mental illness. It is quoted in part from the book “Voices of Hope, Conversations with Helen L Shore.” The book, which was commissioned by Employment Options of Marlborough, “marks the journey of 23 ordinary people of extraordinary spirit, who live with mental illness.” Toni Wolfe, Executive Director of Employment Options, a non-profit agency which has become a “new type of family to its members,” gave permission to excerpt these stories. To obtain a copy of the book, call 508-485-5051 or visit www.employmentoptions.org online.

Del’s story: “I had a mother who was sick, mentally ill. She was a nurse, but when I was about four or five years old, she had a nervous breakdown. Maybe that’s how family. I’m smart, I’ve always been good at math and nearly graduated from WPI. I played a lot of sports there, was co-captain and president of the hockey club, joined a fraternity. But I was immature for my age. I had a lot of problems and dropped out of college my senior year.”

“My first nervous breakdown was in 1967, I was 24. I don’t know what triggered it. I remember the Kennedy assassination, and that’s about it. I ended up at Westborough State Hospital for seven years with depression.” Once out of the hospital, Del was placed in a halfway house. “It was a kind of a bummer of a house. You’d wake up in the middle of the night and cockroaches would be crawling across your face. You’d have to smack your self to get the son-of-a-gun. But-it was good as well as bad. There were people there to help you. I was afraid to go out in case I ended up crying somewhere. Today it’s okay for guys to cry, because they have feeling, too. In the old days you just had to be strong. My father always used to give me all the money I wanted, even when I didn’t want it. He just liked to do it. He was a wonderful father, he recently died, and I really miss him.”

Del now lives in subsidized housing, has a job, and has been with the Employment Options Clubhouse for five years. “My friend Ann and I run the Options bank together. She’s the President she’s been here the longest. I guess that makes me the Vice President.”

“I know I’ve got a lot of problems, and that there are some people I don’t get along with. But I also know that there are other people who want to help me, and that keeps me trying like hell. I just want to take it one day at a time and do the best I can for now. I guess I’m kind of sorry. I wish I’d gone the regular route - graduated from college, married the girlfriend I’d had for three years at college, got a house, have an engineering job and children. It didn’t work out that way. I’m lucky to be alive, that’s all. If I can live my life to the fullest with the problems I have, then I’ll be successful. I think that is not a bad maxim for anyone.”

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